Wanting to escape

I hate it that the only way I can escape is through music and solitude. When I'm so mad at my brother, it doesn't help that I can't leave, walk away from the problem as mom says. She makes it sound so easy, but it's not. She doesn't know the experience of being the oldest of three kids. As an only child, she's never had that experience, and doesn't know how hard it is to just walk away from a problem directly involving you.

Here's my way to escape for good:
Fake my death. I might do that sometime, and eventually get a new identity. The birth certificate I could get someone to fake as well, and I could live comfortably without the problems of the world. Sure, friends and family would miss me terribly, but... I hate knowing that they'd suffer for my selfishness.