Negativity

This is not my only blog, if you were just wondering. This is one of three. The other two are on the links.
This is my "forbidden" blog. Not really, but my rents don't know it exists. And this is the one I slam them on. I love them and all, but I have to diss them once in a while.

Anyway, this is the blog I use to express my anger, depression, and less desirable negative feelings.

Shriveling

Summer is all about hanging out online and chatting to friends nonstop, right? WRONG. Or so my dad says. Just about last week he put another "restriction" period on the computer. So now we only are allowed to have 45 minutes A DAY to check email/play games/use the computer at all. And that's just for days WITHOUT school. On top of that, we can't save time and combine it into an hour and a half the next day either. So if you can't use your 45 minutes today, it's gone. And on TOP of that, me and my brother "fight" so much we can't be in the same room when one's playing. So I can't watch him play, and he can't watch me play. We can't even play PS2 together AT ALL!

I wanna cuss so bad right now until my little heart's content, but it's not in my nature.
WEL!

When I'm 16, my hangout's going to be at the library in front of a computer doing a WORKING Facebook log. Grrrrrrr.

Shoe Issues

I'm so mad at my rents right about now. They insist I wear nice shoes to a wedding. I have nice shoes that my mom supposedly agree to me wearing. Of course, my dad decides to OVERRULE that nomination. I suggest other shoes, but NOOOOO, he insists on getting me more shoes to fill my ever expanding closet.

UGH!

Anywhere but here

Not as bad as it sounds. I'm just sick of sitting here all day, nothing to do. It's in the heat of summer (no pun intended), and I'm wishing I was somewhere cool and misty.

Mist makes everything mysterious and enchanting. In the woods, it looks like a scene from a faerie tale (I like spelling it that way, deal). In the city it looks mysterious, especially at night. But yeah.

I totally wish I could go on a nature hike and explore Misty Mountains (if there were mountains with that title, I'd go). As it is, I cannot, and my family would have to come with me. It's called SOLITUDE, thank you. I like to be ALONE...

Girls

I'm going to get so slammed for this, but I don't care. I just state my mind and that's it.

I can't stand the way girls live. Especially at school. They fight emotionally, verbally abusing someone, and they are never caught and punished like the guys that physically fight.
On certain issues, like if someone's a virgin still, they pick on girls who have never had sex and call them losers, but if you have had sex they slam you too. You can never win.
Oh, need I mention the way they see 'beauty?' The only girls who qualify for beautiful are the popular "It" girls. Most of them are sticks, have no muscle (or fat) at all, and are so stuck up and cruel that they are disliked by almost the entire school community. The other 'nerd' and unpopular girls are definitely stamped UGLY by their peers. The 'fat' girls are mocked and rejected, because everyone knows fat chicks don't attract guys (well if that's the case, explain to me how I've managed to be liked by most guys I come in contact with). Goth/emo girls are naturally shunned by school society for their black appearance. Smart girls tend to be included with the nerd clique, and are naturally hated for their intelligence (but of course no one hates them at the moment because at the moment it's the beauty that counts and not the brains). Marching band chicks are the BAND GEEKS (but most are proud to be band geeks and don't care what their peers think). And other girls whom no one notices regularly are givin the term INVISIBLE. But also, the sporty girls are the most popular, and they "always" get the guy. WEL (whatever loser)

Guys, however, mostly don't care what girls look like (unless they're the shallow type that only goes for gorgeous girls and nothing else). It sounds cheesy when I say it, but the guys go for the personality and truest heart. Most of the time they don't care what you wear, how popular you are, how much you weigh, how muscular you are, or what other people think of you. Now if they think you're a prostitute (I don't care for the slang, thank you), then they probably won't go for you.
Let's see... in middle school, I had lots of friends (from "smart" classes, Newbery Club, band, etc), and though I considered myself popular, I wasn't IT popular. One guy who was in most of my classes (and Newbery) really liked me. Of course I must say here it wasn't a BF/GF relationship, and we never dated (he attempted like five times to ask me out but was rejected). Turns out he'd liked me from the 6th grade, and finally said he liked me in the 7th. I guess he wasn't what he was looking for in a girl (he hung out with a branch of the IT clique), so he dumped me, thank goodness. BTW, being single has its perks: freedom from having to not think about a guy 24/7 (thank you hormones) and being open to other options, but not for me.
I'm still popular with friends from marching band, honors classes, old schools, church, etc. I've got really good friends in all my classes, and I have a few guy friends (not BF, not going there until either Senior year or college, especially the dating part). I don't think the IT clique bothers me (it did in middle school since I came in contact with them everyday... ugh) as much, since I hardly ever see them. But if I do, I smile and wave like a civilized person would do.

Wow, that's a lot of writing. Sorry. If I get on a good topic, you can't stop me.

"Protection"

BUTT OUT. I have this issue with parents being on our hangout sites (like blogs). It's them watching us at home AND on the Internet. I love how they're being protective of us, but they're being a little too protective. Blogs to me are online diaries where we can say what we want about whatever we want. To have a parent read my diary is totally brutal.

THIS IS FOR OUR EYES ONLY.

"Kids having kids"

Yeah, teen girls have sex and get pregnant. They make mistakes (sometimes really big ones). Don't you think they pay for their mistakes enough by having to raise their baby themselves? But of course people have to butt in and make totally rude comments, like "children having children" and stuff. And the whole "parents aren't supportive." Thanks for the help... NOT!
OK, and the whole sex and abstinence issue: just don't risk pregnancy. DON'T HAVE SEX. I myself push for the whole abstinence thing. And most girls (teen moms) said they wished they had waited. Enjoy it when you're out of school AND MARRIED. That way you can spend the rest of high school and college doing fun stuff instead of being stuck at home caring for a baby. Even though you want to have sex (even with condoms), don't... Besides, birth looks and is painful, like, REALLY painful.

TRUE LOVE WAITS.

HAGS

Dude, it's the last day of school today (for most people), so have fun at the beach, in another state, chilling out at home, or whatever you peeps do during the summer.
HAGS!

Security!

Ok, so me and my friends were at the mall today celebrating the end of school for the summer. We went to Dillard's (after eating and other shopping, but whatever) and decided to play hide and seek in the store, since it was big and it was two stories tall. We went up the escalator to the second floor and were trying to figure out who could be it, when some guy walked up to us and asked what we were doing and if we needed any help. Of course, it happens to be a security guard. Keep in mind, it's just the six or eight of us in a group trying to play an innocent game of hide and seek and this security person comes up and starts playing babysitter. We're mature teens for crying out loud! We can take care of ourselves. It wasn't like we were going to shoplift anything.
It irks me when me and my friends are somewhere laughing and having a good time and some authority comes up and breaks up our party. UGH! Why do they do this to us? I mean, we're mature, we can handle it. But no, they insist on watching us like hawks to make sure we don't get "out of hand."
Basically, whenever any of us get into large groups, someone always has to break up our fun. Gee, thanks for the awesome time (not).

K9 Protection = no freedom

Mom technically doesn't know this blog exists, and I want to keep it that way. So no snitching, please. I'm allowed to keep a few secrets (how much is too much, I wonder???).
Anyways, our home computer has this think called K9 Protection. It blocks everything, and it stinks like crud. Oh yeah, when it comes up it has a cartoony picture of a dog and it goes "BARK BARK BARK!!!" I loathe it.
But back to the whole secret blogs thing and the K9 protection blocker, it's a little too much to handle. I mean, I'm almost 16 and I've been living in this stinking ignorance bubble for my entire life! BTW, the K9 thing blocks Youtube and such. It totally reeks. But anyways, I need some freedom here and there. For instance, I'd like:

• at least somewhat unlimited computer/internet priviledges
• no half hour computer time limits PER DAY
• some allowance (we stopped like ages ago)
• basically, I want my SOLITUDE

I love my rents and all, but they just tend to butt in to my life/social stuff at the time when I want to be left alone, and the only people I want around are my friends. Unfortunately, they don't understand that need for ALONE TIME yet, and I don't think they ever will. I'm kinda split on this whole issue right.

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW AND BLOODY MY KNUCKLES UPSIDE A BRICK WALL JUST TO GET MY ANGER OUT!!! UNGH!

What's worse by the way: feeling sick from the bottled up emotions, or letting it all out on a brick wall?

Idle Worship

Celebrities. They are just regular people who higherups said had "potential." They took them to Hollywood and made them stars in movies or music. And we worship them as a society. I would complain that's so unfair, but it's life. All the same, we go onto celebrity gossip channels and look in fashion magazines to make ourselves clones of them. We look on other websites that have all the pictures of them doing whatever, all the time. Basically, that's called worship, and we are the followers. It's just sick. We don't try to be like politicians or famous presidents (normal people, anyway) because they aren't that 'famous.'
I totally feel bad for them, thrust into their whacked-out lifestyle: drugs, sex, parties, all that kind of junk. And the paparazzis take pictures of them 24/7, so much and so often that the celebs have to escape by means of private places and sunglasses. Sick, so sick.

Why is it them getting the glory for being in movies and being famous musicians? Most of the people outside Hollywood are ignored, unless they do something radical or stupid. Many of us are so much smarter than our beloved Hollywood celebs, and no one pays attention to the valedictorians of our graduating class or who has straight A's in all subjects.
That's the way society is: everyone cares more about entertainment and beauty rather than education, health, and the outdoors. I shake my head in sadness and shame for the actions of this horrible society.

Why we need it

I've heard from history that the only reason we are educated is because of one thing- politics. They want us to be educated so we can think logically, learn from history about successes and failures, and be able to understand what happens in the process of voting. That's pretty much all there is. So if we refuse to vote (even though it may be a right, but it's only that- a right), then all that education would have been for nothing. We go through tests, mountains of too much homework, textbooks, and exams, and for what? If we don't vote, all that would have been for nothing.